Of Stars and Their Spheres
by Danibat
Summary: Fights can strain understanding. When Bones and Jim fight…well.  KirkxMcCoy pairing. Warnings for a bit of angst and cussing.


**Warnings: **Cussing?

**Rating: **PG-13

**Summary: **Fights can strain understanding. When Bones and Jim fight…well.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own 'em (or Star Trek). Just like to put them through the wringer. They belong to their respective owners.

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><p>As Jim stared out at the passing stars from the observation deck he felt a prickle of awareness pass down his spine. Sighing, he placed his palms on the glass and leaned his weight forward until he felt the cold seep into his skin. The door opened silently, but he could feel Spock's approach. He should have known his first officer would be awake. "Commander." Jim greeted him. "You're out late this evening."<p>

Spock joined Jim at the window before saying anything. "Captain. While the ship is approaching the conclusion of its 24 hour cycle, the word 'evening' commonly references the period of decreasing daylight from late afternoon until full dark. As such appellations are meaningless on a space-faring vessel, I must object to the term. Also, may I remind you that Vulcans have different physical needs than humans. I am able to function within acceptable parameters with only a few hours of rest. It is my understanding that humans require a rest period of 6-8 hours to perform at the same capacity."

Jim tried his best not to snort, his mood lifting a bit at Spock's subtle way of asking 'Why the hell are you up so late?' Vulcans. Always doing things the hard way. Oh _great_, he thought, even the sarcastic remarks in his head sounded like Bones. Jim's good mood faded away again. "Stop beating around the bush, Commander. You want to know what I'm doing up, which is an illogical query as you know very well why I'm here."

Spock turned to face him, eyebrow raised high. "Captain…"

"Don't try and deny it, Spock," Jim cut in.

Spock paused and seemed to struggle with his thoughts for a moment, and Jim resigned himself to the idea that Spock was going to push further.

Instead, Spock said "I was wondering if you would like to engage in a game of chess?"

Jim blew out a frustrated breath. "Yeah, ok."

Spock nodded and they headed over to the chess-board in the back of the room. They began the game in silence. Jim was just starting to relax and let his thoughts wander when the Spock spoke.

"It is my understanding that domestic differences are a normal part of a human relationship and should not be such cause for concern."

Jim shot Spock a dirty look before concentrating on the board. "Don't."

"I am merely trying to ascertain the reason for your nocturnal escapade. If your sleep loss is to be attributed to your fight with the Doctor…"

"Spock, just drop it," Jim growled.

Spock seemed to agree and they played in silence.

After some time Spock spoke again, "It was not my intention to exacerbate your discomfort, Jim. I was merely concerned…as your friend."

Jim felt a twinge of guilt. He sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Spock, I'm not upset with you. I'm upset at the situation. It's something I'm not comfortable dealing with."

Spock gave a considering nod. "I understand. I am not the most comfortable acquaintance to confide in."

Now Jim felt really guilty. "No! You're one of my best friends and most trusted officers. If I can't talk to you about my family problems, then who can I talk to about them?" As Jim spoke he saw Spock's posture suddenly stiffen. Jim frowned and opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when he heard…

"Oh. So you can talk to the Vulcan about your family?"

Jim's stomach sank. If possible, Spock's posture grew even more rigid. Both Jim and Spock stood and turned to face Bones.

Spock looked between them and said, "My apologies, Captain, Doctor. I will excuse myself for the night."

Bones said "Oh, no, Spock. Why don't you stay? Jim's obviously more comfortable talking to you than talking to me."

Jim felt all semblance of calm melt away. "Bones…"

"No, Jim, obviously you'd prefer to talk to the emotionless Vulcan rather than to me."

"Bones, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like?"

Jim swallowed and ducked his head. "Commander, thank you for the game of chess."

It was a dismissal, but a friendly one, and Spock took his leave.

Once they were alone, Jim said, "Bones…what do you want me to say?"

"What do I want you to say? We've already discussed what I want."

Jim brought a hand up to rub his temple. "I've told you already that I can't do that. Come on, Bones, can't we just drop it?"

"Just drop it, like it's not important? I can't do that because it's damn well important to me, Jim!"

"I never said it wasn't important. I said I couldn't do it."

"Well that's just great. You know what I can't do? I can't do this. You said you wanted to try this, wanted to see what we could build up and I believed you. God, I'm still an idiot."

"Bones, please, can we just not…do this. Look, we'll go on shore leave, we'll head to Georgia, we'll have a good time, you'll introduce me to Joanna, show me the sights, we'll relax, we'll do everything we've already planned. It's not the big deal you think it is."

"Not a big deal? You're right it's not a big deal. You don't have to worry about me _inconveniencing you_ by having to introduce me to Sam, or any of your other family members. And you don't have to worry about meeting any of my family, because it's not going to happen. I'll see you when it's time to leave dock, Captain."

"_Bones_!" Jim called as he watched him storm out. "Damn it."

Jim stared ahead for a moment before he reached out a shaky hand to the chessboard and laid down the king.

.

+ . + . + . + . + . +

.

Bones didn't talk to Jim the rest of the trip to Earth. After they docked, Bones was one of the first people on the surface. Once the rest of the crew was settled planet-side Jim went back aboard, walked back to his ready room, and sat heavily in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair and decided to do some uncharacteristic and self indulgent wallowing. Damn it, he hated having Bones mad at him.

To Bones, it must have seemed like a simple request. He wanted to meet Sam. Jim had tried explaining that it wasn't possible, but Bones kept pushing, and Jim wasn't sure how to explain that Sam had cut off contact with him years ago. Winona was off-planet, and by the time Bones had asked to meet her, Jim's 'no' had set Bones off and Jim hadn't been given a chance to explain anything.

He tried to distract himself by working on his backlog of paperwork. He was able to last about a day and half before he'd caught up on everything and his problems with Bones stole over his thoughts again.

He'd been staring into space for a while when his fingers reached out, seemingly with a mind of their own, and started dialing. He held his breath as his call went through, and then Sam's face appeared on the vid screen.

Jim tried for a charming smile, but it felt weak. "Hey Sam, it's Jim, your brother."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I know. What do you want?"

Jim found himself rubbing the back of his neck again. "Cut right to the chase, huh? Fair enough. I was hoping we could mend some fences."

"Why would we want to do that?"

The conversation didn't get much better from there.

.

+ . + . + . + . + . +

.

"How could you do that to Dad? Now whenever anyone thinks the name Kirk, they'll be thinking of _you_."

"Sam, I didn't do it to show up Dad. What was I supposed to do? Let Earth be sacrificed?"

"Is that why you contacted me? To gloat about saving the Earth?"

"No, I didn't call to gloat. I wanted to get to know you again. I wanted to see if there was still a spark of the brother I remembered."

"Well I don't have any interest in getting to know you, or mending fences. But that doesn't matter, does it? It's still all about you, isn't it, Jim? I'd say call me when you grow up, but we both know that will never happen."

After Sam had hung up, Jim stared at the blank screen. To say the call had not gone well would be one of the greatest understatements of his life, so he felt justified in his decision to get very drunk.

.

+ . + . + . + . + . +

.

It wasn't long before Jim found himself at the vid screen again watching an automated message. "This is Admiral Christopher Pike's office. I'm away from my terminal. Leave a message."

And Jim found himself talking. "Hey, Chris. Sir. I was just…calling. I'm sorry. Wanted to know if you…but you're not. Sorry. Damn, I sound like an idiot. I am. An idiot, that is. You remember that time we talked about family? Anyway. I just wanted to know if you had time to talk. Maybe we could have dinner before the Enterprise's shore leave is up. Talk to you later…sir."

After that, Jim recollected only the burn that comes from downing a lot of alcohol. He had the vague impression of another vid call and for some reason he thought he might have said, "It should be illegal to hate someone for saving the universe!" but he couldn't say when, or to whom.

.

+ . + . + . + . + . +

.

Jim was asleep when he heard grumbling, familiar grumbling, and felt gentle hands shift him on the couch.

"I've been in my fair share of trouble, kid. And had some well deserved dressing-downs. But never before have I had an Admiral ream me out for being on vacation," the gruff and welcome voice caused Jim's eyes to snap open.

"Bones? What are you doing here?" Jim said as he sat up. Then, he groaned as the room spun.

"Here, drink this," Bones' outline said, pushing a glass of water into his hands. "Ya always sleep fully dressed on your couch for shore leave?"

Jim sipped his water and rubbed his neck. He was too muddled to puzzle out Bones' attempts at communication. "Bones...what are you doing here?" he tried again.

He felt Bones' hand brush his temple. "Sorry, Jim, no hypo on me. I left without my kit."

Jim resisted the urge to lean into the touch and said, "You never forget your kit."

"There's a first time for everything." After a pause, Bones said gruffly, "What the hell are you doing here alone, Jim?"

Bones was mad at him, Jim remembered. His grip on the water glass slipped and it tumbled to the floor as he spun to look Bones.

"Bones! Bones, you're here!" he exclaimed.

"I think we've established that, Jimmy," Bones said while rolling his eyes.

Then suddenly it was as if a dam had burst and everything poured out. "Bones, I'm sorry. It wasn't that I didn't want you to meet Sam."

"Jim," Bones said, as he sat down next to him. "It's all right."

"No, it's not all right, you're mad at me and you went off to Atlanta without me, and you said you wouldn't introduce me to _Jo_-your family. Which I can understand, I mean, who wants to hang around me right?" In the back of his mind Jim realized he was babbling. Oh well, he would just blame it on the hangover later. "But you're mad, and I hate it when you're mad. And it's not you, it's Sam. Sam hates me, Bones, and I wish I could introduce you, but he hates me."

Bones' hand covered his mouth and stayed there. "Jim. _Jim._ Hush now. Pike called and told me all about it." Bones removed his hand and gave Jim a stern look. "Apparently, you were in quite a state last night when you talked to him. And it's me who should be sayin' sorry, kid."

Bones leaned forward and gave Jim a gentle, sorrowful kiss. Then he brushed off Jim's clothes and stood. "Clean yourself up. There's someone here who wants to meet you."

Jim's head snapped up to see Bones giving him a blinding smile.

-Fin-

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><p>Please let me know what you think!<p> 


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